well, today has been wasted to food really.
i went into college, and managed about an hours practice, and an hours lesson, but felt very out of it by the end of that.
i couldnt stop eating food for lunch, which set me up badly for the evening, because i just wanted to eat, but obviously couldnt keep it down, so i have thrown up 2 times (well 3 including water). silly silly me.
having bloods done tomorrow, because maggie asked me to, pretty sure they will be ok.
on the up side i was 7 stone 7lb today so that makes me happy, but im scared itl have gone up tomorrow. id like to get back to 7 stone i think, not far to go if i keep loosing this quick (gone from 7 stone 12lb to 7 stone 7lb in a week) so maybe after next week il start eating right again.
went to the doctor because of reynauds...and sure enough i have it, and nothing can be done. also got quized on 'have you had any dark thoughts' etc ie. have you plans of suicide at the moment questions, anyone would think im a nutter! no plans, and i cant imagine there will be in the forceeable future!
should go to sleep. im acctually feeling very ill/sick right now, probably over hungry, but im done. will take my anti deppresant and go to sleep (maggie told me im not alloud to skip any more of them, oops!).
well, i hope i decide to get better again in the next couple of weeks. i keep seeing little kids, and my god do i want one! i guess its my dream, a family of my own, part of me (i pray to god im still fertile)...and a harp ofcourse!
anyway, bed, night x
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