well, since i was last on alot has changed.
i had a meeting with the day care team a couple of weeks back, and a phone call from them to tell me i deffinatly had a place.
in all honsesty i am crapping my self about it, its a scary thought.
this is the first time in 10 years that there is a real chance of recovery, and although part of me is running towards it open handedly, the other part of me is running 10 times faster in the other direction.
im fed up of thinking constantly about my weight, i mean i went away for 3 days with my parents, and came back 3lb heavier, to which i have been panicking ever since. its not even that i ate loads away, i guess my body is just trying to keep hold of all it cant, and im doing my utmost to go against it and loose as much weight as i can =-s
i am sad about it all really, sad that iv spent 10 years like this, and sad that im scared to get rid of it. its like im choosing to keep someone with me who destroys me.
i want this out of my head. i want to be able to eat without feeling so bad, and i want to be able to study. i spent all today trying to practice and did barely anything because i hadent eaten, so of course, it stops you concentrating.
i just want to be ok. =-(
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