hello,
well today was a bit pants!
i have purged twice, binged once, and eaten far more then i wanted too...im starting to hate lewis for ruining ed's plans!
he makes it impossible not to eat, he orders and gets for me without asking, and when he made himself a milkshake earlier, again he just put it infront of me, without asking...and it was bannana, that and icecream together is a scary scary combination! thankfully he tends not to notice if i pour most of it into his glass!
the main reason for the 'binge' was to have enough inside to throw up the rest of dinner, it wasnt something i felt like doing, just is easier when there is more there. i just had to feel empty.
apart from food tho, today has been ok, felt very ill earlier (have a very painful jaw due to tensing it all the time without realising, which gave me a horrible headache), but after that finally went i saw some friends.
i feel just overwelmingly big at the moment, im scared of not loosing weight, as i really do need too...no, ed sais i do. gah, sometimes it is hard to seperate him from me!!!
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