charlotte 1- ed 0

hello!
good day...yes thats right, GOOD DAY TODAY!!!
i have gone an entire day without purging! i know it doesnt sound like a lot, but right now, it is an amazing acheivment, and i am very pleased to say that charlotte is feeling a lot better then i have been latly!

i think part of it is that the ed place rang yesterday, and i wont be going in till the begining of may now, and they are sending me a start date, so it feels a bit less scary because its more in control.

i am also desperate to practice, so i have had to eat without purging before i do any (other wise it is pointless), so ye, although tough, i have eaten today too, id say a fair few calories as well!

im glad today was better, it is a good reminder that it is possible, i think latly it feels like ed has just sucked all the life from me, and i think iv been a little more depressed as well (sleeping an awful lot), so getting out into the sunshine and making the effort to get out of the house has done me good. it is all to easy to shut the door and stay in alone and mope about stuff!

i have my councelling appointment on tuesday, and im quite glad its here, i havent seen her for 3 weeks, and have needed it, so hopefully that will help me feel a bit better too, its good to be able to just be honest about how things feel, and have someone who wont push me with anything, she will just listen and help me sort it all out in my head!

i am going to try very hard to make tomorrow a good day aswell, tho i must admit im scared of the scales. have rehearsals 2-5 anyway, so will have to eat something before hand, and it will make sure im out of the house...hopefully we will go to the pub after too, whch will be nice, the less time to my self the better!

right, to sleep i think! xxxxx