there is a very large purple elephant who follows me around.
i try not to acknowledge him, wont let him make a sound.
together we take up too much space when going through the day
not often will he stay outside, he likes things his own way.
usually we manage and i cover him up well
we have a little deal, so i dont have to tell.
infront of people he lets me smile and chat and laugh and joke
its only in the darkness that i cry untill i choke.
the times alone are hardest, when im sitting late at night
its times like this the elephant enjoys a good old fight.
the darkness seems to much sometimes, just like a black hole.
and i cant work out what to do, theres no way to console.
i hope one day the elephant will find a place to stay,
then he can have a home and i, a sunny day.
there would be no more tears at night time and no smile glued on too tight
and i could be myself again without a constant fight.
feeling a bit pants tonight =-(
(i hate to think what id be like without the distraction of my bed and lots and lots of house...!)
must also remember to clear up, my room has turned into a bomb sight latly, seems to happen when i cant be bothered with anything...my draws are almost empty, but i have about 5 washing loads that need doing, and they are all in a rather large pile on my floor...not helped of course by the fact i can only dry one load over the course of about 5 days...makes me even less interested in the idea!
still, on the pluss side, iv only been crying and not purging, which im sure must only be a good thing?!
No comments:
Post a Comment