hello,
well i have just spoken to my friend gabi.
we used to be very close, and she ended up in treatment in south africa, and then relapsing back here and going back again.
during her relapse i was nto about. i was struggling a lot myself with depression, to the point where mum had to come and collect me from uni etc, so we fell out of touch.
she is back in england and we had a chat just now, in which she quite rightfully was a tad pissed off at me for not being there for her...
ed and depression really have made me very very selfish at times. im awear i can not support everyone, but i should have been there for her to chat too, or at least had the guts to tell her i couldnt talk about it, rather then just shutting her out.
i guess its in the past, and we learn from our mistakes. i hope i can learn to comunicate better with people in general, and be more supportive of friends even when im struggling...saying that im usually over supportive. i dont know, i feel bad, i have done a lot of damage in the past which i wont be able to repaire, but its just how it was. i must learn to not make the future like that.
also had a session with my counceler, we are finishing next week, as she doesnt want to carry on with me once im in day care. im scared of not having that support, as i can acctually say things i would never dream of saying to others, but i am also awear that i will have some support. i hope to god i can get through this and make it out the other side. i have to, i need to live.
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