update

tell me it can be different
to how it is right now,
that things will be far better
when i have learnt just how

to make myself all happy
and leave this life behind
to love myself whole heartedly
to like and to be kind

right now it seems impossible
that i will ever change
the days seem to get darker
and i get more deranged

my thoughts become unbearable
the tears, they never stop
i make everyone feel better
but wish that i could swap

this life with someone elses
too make all of this a dream
so i could keep on going
without splitting at the seam

i tried to ask for help today
was a pointless thing to do.
no one ever listens,
i wasted their time too


bit of a crap day. appointment was useless, i want to give up.

on the up side, i bought myself 2 little dwarf hamsters as a distracton befor the appointment, so at least there is something nice.

been curled up on the sofa all evening feeling sorry for myself and wanting to cry

bed time x