weird day

so, today i seemed to pick as the day to have an amazingly stupid freak out about life... what a clever girly i am.

i mean, dont get me wrong, this was ridiculas. i just felt shit, as per usual, and frustrated, as per usual, and persuaded by a friend i rang up the ed place and told them... why am i so stupid?!!!

so, having been told no appointments till next thursday, i asked if there was no way of talking to someone. the registrar called me,and after a chat, asked if i could come in today for a chat... spent an hour talking/crying to him, and then got bloods and weight (went down more then i thought). then pam called and told me she was around if i wanted to see her sooner, and spent another bloody hour and 40 crying in her room...

end result? they are going to discuss tomorrow in there meeting weather inpatient is a possible option, or what else they could offer.
she did say i could go back to daycare, but to be honest i think that would be pointless, il just lie my way through it, would be a waste of their time. also have the option of just seeing her and a diatician once a week... could give it a go, just worried that il do the same old things.

have been told to come in on teusday morning at 10 for an appointment with the doctor i saw today to discuss my options, and for him to make sure im ok, and he also upped my anti depressants to 60mg.

not sure how im feeling about it all, will wait and see what tuesday brings, but im very tempted to call tomorrow and tell them not to bother talking about it, as i feel like the worlds biggest idiot right now, im sure il be fine!

ga, all mixed up...views appreciated!