Passover

well, we had a seder meal tonight (i think a night early!), was nice.
we are such bad jews, not only was it not on the right night, we had matzah (the crackers that replace bread as you cant eat leavened bread), which specifically said on the box NOT FOR PASSOVER... all we needed would have been a ham n cheese sadwhich and a few prawns!

it does raise some interesting questions.

the hole basis of the festival is celebrating that god had set us free from slavery in egypt. that he looked after us, stuck up for us, and helped us.

i cant help but wonder why we celebrate this, when for thousands of years, we have been kicked about from country to country, never having had a safe place to settle (even isreal now is so volatile that i cant help thinking its silly it being there).

i dont know, sitting at the table celebrating gods love and greatness when im sat next to my grandpa, who came over on kinda transport, and who's entire family were pretty much wiped out in the halacaust just really brings things to the fore front of my mind

why are we still trying to beleive in god when all that has gone on?

part of me really wants to learn about judaism. i really do want to know about everything, about the views held, the explanations. i dont know that i will ever be religiouse, but i know if i was, it would have to be judaism. my family has been through too much for me to ever give it up to something else.

im thinking of contacting the local liberal synagogue in birmingham. i want to go, im scared of meeting new people, but i want to learn about my routes, and the beleifs held. i want to ask all the questions that i have to someone who can give me answers.

! x