well, the last few days have been a bit difficult...
one of the girls that was in when i first went into hospital is back in again (a different one to rosie). i know it sounds stupid, but part of me is jealouse. jealouse that she was aloud to get thin again, or that she almost killed herself with it (making her a 'better' anorexic then me?!). and maybe jealouse that she is getting help, and that im just waiting for nothing to come through as per usual.
im still going, and still eating *insert all anorexic thoughts about that one here*. my weight is still 50.5kg, and its still driving me mental, and i have absolutly no one to talk about things with.
i dont think im jealouse of her being in hospital, just that someone is helping her with it. i can see that i no longer need that intensive help, but something, some sort of continuity, or just a place to rant would be very useful. its frustrating that they treat the cause, and leave it. i mean its harder to keep things up when only the secondary bit has been treated, and as time goes on i find it harder and harder.
same old ranting i know, but i couldnt sleep last night because all things eating disorderd were shouting in my head. and today, all day and all evening, all things eating disordered have continued to shout.
on a less ed'd note, i gave blood for the second time today, noooo problem with iron levels at all, the needle was larger then i remembered tho!
anyway im off, speak soon x
Have you tried uni for support as a bridge while the nhs pisses about like tosspots?visited the gp to get her/him to chase it up.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the blood thing, I meant to go and try, but failed,
Use your friends too ?<3
Try to focus on the positives of being well and not those of being ill. They aren't real positives. We just think they are when we still have the thoughts, we wouldn't if we were well...you know?
ReplyDeletexxx
The write a word spam checker thing just made me write poome. Poo me. hahahahaha x
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