positive post!

well, i was just looking through my memory box, and you know, i am glad i have kept one!
i guess you only remember the shit, especially when there was lots of it, but looking through that has made me realise that there were some good bits to.

its also made me aweare of just how much i acheived when i was younger! you know, i have loads of positive school reports, and considering i was struggliing with dyslexia and bullying, i did damn well!
i got into loads of music things, and good reports and grades in music exams, took 3 shows to edinburgh, got into 4 music colleges in total (including the royal college)... i even had a comment on my work experiance form of 'charlotte should be a teacher!!!' when i was helping at a special needs school.
i also, have a surprising amount of cards from people... yes, school wasnt fun, but for breif periods of time i had the odd friend, and although they ended badley, why dont i try and remember the good bits too?!

i dont know, i guess its just time to find the positives. i have wasted so much time being upset over how shit things have been, but why am i still making myself feel like shit? i know now, i have to work through things, and ptsd, anorexia/bulimia, self harm and depression are crappy and will take some working, but its possible...

i found 2 letters id written in 6th form, 1 was in 10 years if i stayed the same, and the other was if i changed, and you know, the changing one sure looks like a lot more fun in the long run, and its not too late to do it.

i need to focus on other things, and just keep going.

and you know, im kinda proud of this entry too!!! x