another day in the nut house

hello,
iv been meaning to update for ages, but my heads been rather messy and i havent been sure where too start!

today was a rather tough day. we had body image group, which somehow led on to ann asking me 'if you carried on like this, and starved yourself, you would eventually die... does that not matter too you?, and in all honesty, no, it doesnt.

i wish it did, and i feel very very guilty for feeling that it doesnt, but i guess its something im used too. i know i wont die soon, and i know i have always kept above a seriouse point with it, and i know that i will be able to for a long time to come. its not a life i want, but its the life i seem to have, and as of yet, cant see a way to change it.

i did write the place a letter, and gave it too them, too explain why i was coming accross as unwilling to change, and they appreciated it. i have a therapy assesment next week some time with a person called lisa, and i have been told that if there is anything else i need to talk about, i am more then welcome to write it down...kinda wish i had of done it earlier really!

they said that day care is just the begining of treatment, and i will have ongoing care, which is good to know!

i should go and see lewis, but i thought id catch up xxx