hello,
well, today has been a mixed bag... the good things were...

1/ going to visit all the people at junior trinity, all my old teachers, musicianship teachers, choir masters, orchestra/chamber group conductors etc and the receptionist! it was lovely to see them all, popped into ken page and did some improvising, chatted to peter robinson my recorder teacher etc etc and spoke lots to trakove the receptionist, lovely lady!

2/ getting my treble sorted so i can reach it! mr von hughne has taken it to sort, and within a month i should have some keys on it and the thumb hole bushed, hopefully itl work fine and il be able to play it nicely without hurting myself!

3/ saw cweaver (i cant spell it but thats how it sounds!), and went for a drink with my and her mum!

the hard things were...

1/ being back in old situations, reminded me of a lot

2/ feel like im eating farrrrr to much and cant work out if im under eating or not

3/ sorting out wardrobe at home, so many of my cloths im scared of not fitting, i miss being tiny =-(

4/feel generally quite =-( =-s not sure why, just am

i dont know, so much of me wants to leave this food thing behind and move on with the rest of my life.
i want to perform to an audience and feel good about it, i want to enjoy being good at it, and i want to feel confident enough to do it. but its so scary letting go, and i can feel the pull back because its safe =-(