=-(

indeed they dont...twats!

(pluss thanks for the explanation, makes a lot more sense!)

well today im feeling quite :-(

had group today, which was pretty hard. was in tears for a lot of it, mainly feeling angry/upset re lack of help and lack of anyone giving a shit... turns out a lot of the others feel the same, which sure says something about the nhs.
was hard, because yet again i was the last to talk, and didnt really get to talk much. (everyone asks how people are, and i always either dont get asked or dont have time :-? ). i felt bad because the only reason someone asked is coz i was crying, feel like i almost unintentionally blackmailed them into it.

also, one of the people running it (gerard) is leaving in 2 weeks, i reckon they have cut the funding because his job isnt being replaced, and he doesn't look happy about it... also the person taking over is some crazy nurse from IP that n0oooooo one likes! she is patronizing and annoying, and spent the first 3 weeks of ip telling me i didnt need to be there.

also started my periods again. first one since end of august, been 5 months, and although i know i should be happy, im really not. i know logically it doesnt make me fat, but in my head it really does :(

aaaannndddd.... my friend paddy has asked me to move in with him in march... logically for me, it alll makes sense. he is lovely, very caring, we get on really well, its £100 cheaper then where i am, and it secures me having someone to live with (which i am very worried about).
so, i told my flat mate anna, and she has majorly guilt tipped me :( with 'well, i dont know what to do, all my exams are in april, if i move i will have to re sort all my things, and its just for a few months, why cant he wait? etc etc'... i have said i will pay an extra month (so till april) and that if she gets really stuck il stick it out til she wants to move in june :-?

the thing is, she left me homeless for the summer, she screwed around not paying rent, expecting me to pay an extra month at the begining. she kept going on at me about the flipping electric bill when i wasnt even living there and was in hospital. she wont give a toss if i want to stay a month longer (i know she wouldnt cover it), yet she makes me feel bad for giving her plenty of time to move?

and on top of that i was probably very stupid and did a very anorexic shop at tesco :? spent over an hour dawdling around (some guy even stopped to ask if i was ok!) and got all the low cal crap i feel safest with, and went back to not picking up the things i really feel like...

why am i being so stupid?!!!