bumface

eeeeeewwww i can hear my flatmate have sex...time to turn the music up!

ok, so things have been a little mixed latley...obviously!

the positives...

i saw a mate the night before last which was nice, and i have just purchased a steel boned corset *woop* cant wait to get it! (i reckon the boobs will actually be a big improvement on last time i wore a corset!)

its this one
http://www.corsets-uk.com/dark-green-taffeta-overbust-steel-boned-corset-my-033-azi.html

im also getting a photo shoot done (one of those free offers)... i was going to say no, and then i thought 'why the hell not'... so im going with a friend... i figure maybe it might get my body confidence up a little...maybe!

worked today 9-6ish, long day, but guess its a bit of money coming in.

found food really hard the last couple of days.
i just feel like im 'comfort eating' (hahaha comfort...NOT!) it feels like im on a constant binge. logically i know im not, but i cant get it out of my head that i am just eating tooo much.

i purged earlier. was stupid, i just panicked and had to. i stopped myself doing it again tonight, so i guess thats a good thing. also stupidly dug out my diet pills... really should just chuck the lot.

im just finding body image hard.
the fact i dont fit into that dress properly is really playing on my mind. i know i shouldnt care, and funilly enough with my flatmate sorting the zip, i did get into it ok (she thinks the zip is a bit bust). but it still just goes round my head.

and then i get into a funny place where half wants to restrict, and the other hald knows i shouldnt so eats, and thats what makes me feel like im constantly binging.

and i am petrafied that this is going to push my weight up either more