'it was the night before christmas and all through the house...'

both ratties and mouse were making a right noise! ;-)

im feeling a bit better then last night, just spent most of it crying, but maybe thats not such a bad thing.

im feeling so weird at the moment, iv come to the realisation that my brother is a bit of a poo. i dont really think he wants me around, infact he doesnt want anyone around who may have had any mental illness... considering he's a docter, i find that rather poo.
i just feel sad that he never talks to me unless i happen to be in the same room as him. he never cares.

i wish it was different.

tonight we had a family dinner, was ok, i ate loads, feel guilty, but nothing new there!
find my family hard, partiicularly with lots of comments about 'how well' im looking.
hopefully tomorrow will be ok, bit worried, i hate arguments, but so far this being in different houses at night seems to be paying off!

heard from a friend who was in IP, she went back in, after taking an overdose =-( its a shame because she is so lovely, and was always inspiring, but im glad she is in a safe place.

im a bit scared to tell bex, because she always looked up to her. worried about her too, i know her xmas will be hard. i miss her.

anyway, off to finish wrapping,
night xxx