hello,
well, yesterday wasnt a good day.
i threw up for the first time since being out, and did it twice (never do anything by halves e?!)
i was just feeling so stressed, and nothing was going right, and i tried not to but the day didnt get any better, and i didnt know what else to do with myself.
on the more positive side, i dragged myself off to the GP today (mainly because i needed my meds again) and asked them if they could follow up the CMHT...
they are shoked that i havent been followed up properly, and i was there over half an hour while they rang variouse places etc etc.
as a result, my appointment with dr R has been brought forwards (the psych from the ed place), and they have sent an urgent referal to the CMHT, AND booked me in an appointment on monday morning to make sure im ok... i feel like they are making rather a fuss over something so small, but then i guess its a slippery slope, and they know as well as i do that im all :smile: untill i stop to think, and then i could create a small ocean with my tears!
i dont know, feeling a bit like i shoulnt have told them, or that they shouldnt have made such a fuss.
i saw my sister today, which was nice. first time iv seen her in about 6 months... she didnt come visit me in hospital, and didnt even ring, but i guess everyone deals with things differently, just would have been nice if she had of kept in tocuh.
have work again tonight.
found it difficult to eat today, because ed is deffinatly in my head, but i have had a fair bit i think...
already had some cerial, packet of crisps, doughnut, malteasers and some 'hungerian goulash' soup... i seem to be eating a lot of shit food, but i think i find it easier to not sit and eat a meal, to just eat on the go so i dont think about it, and it gets the calories up with not loads and loads of food. need to sort that, but it just seemed too much to sit and cook for myself when i wasnt even sure i wanted it!
sure il gra stuff after work too which aught to make it up.
my weight is still going up, which i also panicking me.
they said it would level out, and it hasnt yet :-(
got to practice anyway, speak sssooooonnnnn xxxxx
Hurrah for competent GPs, I have to say I'm rather pleased with what they've done :) but thats because I dont have your mush in my head.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you working?!!!
Why not avoid the scales for a while?you might be surprised that way in a few months when things seem brighter, why try and handle this much at once, why not just focus on one thing without worrying about if it causes x,y,z. I know its not that simple but it must be worth a shot...