i feel all :-(
today the new girl did really well with food, but that was because she asked me to sit and support her through it, and i did. all the staff said thank you, and asked if i had thought of becoming a nurse, only i feel really crap in myself.
i got on and ate, because i had to show her it was ok, but im feeling no better about food then usual.
i hate the way im looking, and i hate the taste of food. i tried shortbread as a snack, but all i could taste was butter and if it wasnt for the new girl needing to see its ok i would have walked out without finishing it =-(
finding things really really hard.
i have 2 weeks and 2 days left, and i am deserate for more time. i cant stand that im still struggling so much and they are just chucking me on to things and not doing anything to help.
they dont listen if i talk, so it seems stupid trying. i may as well save my breath because every time i have tried to tell them what i think/feel they ignore it anyway.
mum knows, and wants to talk to them, but i doubt they will listen to her either.
i dont know what to do. it like someone has waved a rattle infront of a baby and then taken it away. i can see with the right help i could get better, but they arent giving me enough time to do it. i am still freaking out
/ feeling to guilty to eat, just like the first bloody week i was here.
i wish either they would give me enough time, or that i had never have started here in the first place.
=,-( maybe there is no way out anymore.
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