well, as i lost more weight i have had a food increase =-(
seems that the amount im eating isnt enough so i had to have a choice of a chocolate bar, crisps or crackers and cheese for todays afternoon snack...
i tried maltesers... and ended up in tears for half an hour because quite frankly the only time il eat foods like that are when i can throw them up!!! ofcourse, i wasnt aloud to do that, so i had to just get on with it... i am dreading tomorrow.
i just feel like i dont deserve that kind of food. its a treat food, something people would have if they deserved it, and i cant stand myself, so why would i give my self a treat?! alowing myself to eat meals is a big enough thing (works along the same lines), but chocolate, crisps of fatty foods?!!! i wish they would let me have fruite instead =-(
i dont know, it hit a nerve, and im starting to realise things arent going to be easy... and im going to have to carry on eating this much for ever, which is a rather scary thought.
most of my head is still screaming at me that i just want to be thin =-(
No comments:
Post a Comment