ppn- performance paractice notation...the most useless subject i have taken in college so far i think...its all on how do perform in a historically correct mannor...which as a recorder player i do already! we have a presentation on wednesday, and have been doing bits of it tonight.
havent finished yet, and tomorrow i have a masterclass 10-5, counceling 2-3, folk rehearsals 6-8 and then we have to fit in more ppn as we have to do it at 9.30 on wednesday...aaaaaah!!! im tired just thinking about tomorrow!
so, the plan is...up and out by 8.30, an hours practice, and then the rest of the day... maybe more practice if i can keep awake tomorrow night!
i was at home today, and we went to john lewis to look for craft stuff i could take with me to daycare for sitting time... only problem is, it makes things real, so instead of finding something, i spent the whole time finding nothing suitable. in reality, there was plenty, but i just didnt want to find anything.
saw my gran today...she confuses me. she said she was pleased i was doing it, but in the same 20 min said i had a round face... she also read my reports from my recorder teachers and then said that 'i knew you could do it, you could be the top of anything, the violin, the recorer, anything you tried'... which begs the question of if she always thought i could be really good, why spend the last 20 years telling me otherwise?!
not once do i remember her telling me i did well enough, yet she comes out with the words telling me that i have always been capable... it makes me sad to think how different things could have been if it wasnt for her.
still, i am also awear i wouldnt be the same person without my past experiances, and im hoping one day i will be pleased about that, and that i will like it.
on the up side, i am sitting in a clear room (thanks to my flat mate, who is amazing), with candles, inscense and music playing, and feeling calmer then i have in months. (i swear there is something in my inscense!)
at least i will be busy tomorrow, and wednesday. leaves less time to think! x
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