ok, so i am awake, and as usual i feel like i should throw up so i dont weigh as much in the morning...awkward logic i think, and i managed not to yesterday, and hadent gone up, but i weighed myself tonight and i am up 2lb, and im scared it wont go down again in the morning (even tho i know it should, and i shouldnt be weighting myself this much)
question is, do i be brave and not bother, or give in?!
i think i am in a big panick about monday, under the surface. like im not too panicky, but my food isnt in control, and im having weird dreams about it (hahaha soooo obviouse its nuts, lots of massive hills i keep falling down and confronting scary things in them).
on the up side, i had a lovely night with lewis last night, i can not wait for his recital to be out of the way and for me to get de-stressed lewis back, its sooooo much nicer! saying that, he wasnt stressed last night, and it just felt so nice to be with him, like i feel i can be myself, he kept telling me i was beautiful and that he missed me, and funnily enough, i have missed that from him!
also looking for hoses, becca may be moving in after all, so i am looking for both 2 and 3 bed places, and i am rather excited to be getting out of this place. there are a lot of nice places that arent too expensive, real real homes!!! with real nice kitchens and real nice sofas and gorgeouse bathrooms...i cant wait!!!
also finally foud the beads iv been looking on line for, it has taken me weeks, but i think i have found some inspirational word beads that arent too expensive (have plans on jewelery making and selling to a few little shops up here). havent ordered them yet, but at least i know where they are from!!!
right, i should go to bed, up early to meet emily tomorrow WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!
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